I just Goddess-f*$#*’d my husband (Guest Post)

Ever wondered why I started my journey into tantra and sacred sexuality ?  It’s because after I had done a lot of work on healing myself and re-awakening my body (not just my pussy – all of my body) .. I have experienced this cosmically orgasmic experience with the same man three separate times.  (Unfortunately, due to life it isn’t every time – we’re both a work in progress.)

Never in my life previously had I experienced anything close!  Thus the reason I offer tantric massage for men, women and couples so as THEY can start on the journey I started .. and eventually with whomever can experience the same.

Author: Tressa Yonekawa Bundren  { source }

This is important, women. This is here if you want to understand more about your power in sex and sensuality.

I just allowed myself to have the best sex of my life. I am infinitely lucky and grateful to be partnered with a man who is an ever-evolving amazing lover. This is a reciprocal, ever-reflective process, and sometimes it just works out luckily, haphazardly and drunk with lust.

Today was a combination of all of those things.

One reason he’s an amazing lover is that he is invested in my pleasure, and he responds to my desire with receiving and reflecting and offering of his own desire. He wants me to feel good while he’s feeling good.

Men, did you catch that? It’s not really about the size of your penis or how hard and deep you can penetrate me. It’s about how you handle desire.

Feel me on this.

How many times have you had sex with a partner and you were just basically participating so someone didn’t feel bad or because you just needed to orgasm or because it felt like you were expected to, etc.? The list of reasons why we “kind of participate” in sex is pretty long. We all have our own reasons. We’ve all done it.

But what if

What if we could be deeply present? Deeply feeling? Deeply connected? What would sex be like if we regularly engaged ourselves and each other in the kind of sex that’s completely worth getting dirty for, being late for, flinching pleasantly as we sit down when we feel that perfect soreness of being well-nibbled, fucked and/or spanked?

It kind of makes me hot to think about it. You know, those times when everything just clicks?

I know the secret to bringing that to the table (park bench, bed or backseat) every time.

Want to know how to fuck like a Goddess?

Let’s make a deal. I’ll share this with you, and you promise yourself and me that you’ll try it. Just try it. Deal? I trust both of us to want better relationships and better sex for ourselves.

Here it is.

Show up.  Show up. Show up.  

We built a temple: Temple Apalala. From the first discussion about what we wanted, we knew it would be a space to honor intimacy and music. It’s a space where no shoes are allowed. The sign in the entryway on the shoe rack reads:

“Leave your stories, excuses and fears outside. Leave your shoes here. Enter in your wholeness. Welcome in.”  

The same is true in sex, only… you can leave your shoes on if they’re fabulous, of course.

Now, this is just a part of how we show up for each other. We remember to leave our shit outside. We can always pick it up later if we want it. The bonus here is it has always been, and will always be, your personal choice to carry your stories, excuses and fears… or not. You choose a thousand times a day. Keep choosing the highest good.

This is where my request of you to show up really gets juicy and makes us squirm.

Can you show up, just for sex, just this once (you promised that you’d try it… just saying) and make the choice to leave out your anger, frustration, your partner’s bad habits, and that time your mom told you something ego-based and not true about yourself but you believed it?

Because if you can, even for a few minutes, then you are showing up for yourself and your partner. You are opening up to Goddess-intimacy, and believe me, Goddess, you deserve this entirely.

Thank you for practicing being whole, vibrant, powerful, sensual and compassionate.

Welcome in.

The Art of Engagement (5 Secrets To More Leads Using Facebook Groups)

I’m currently partaking in Kimra Luna’s “Get Visible” Challenge.

Day 1: Today we’re talking about the art of engagement, specifically in Facebook groups.

Avoid making these 3 engagement faux pas and you’ll be more visible in no time!

#1 Don’t diss your host

#2 Don’t expect to be introduced to everyone.

#3 Don’t forget to bring a bottle.

So there you have it – 3 things you shouldn’t do in Facebook groups if you want to make yourself really visible online.

As I’m more of a person who likes to focus on “what to do” versus “what not do do” … and also because both as an administrator AND user AND someone who has left/been kicked out of a few Facebook groups (lol!)…  I’d love to expand upon what Kimra has mentioned to include a few extra bonus tips:

BONUS TIP #1:  How to be accepted not ignored (get past the gate keeper!)

I’ve been an administrator of location, theme or industry specific Facebook groups.  I’m also a business owner with her own facebook group who is aiming to work with people in certain localities (my group, my goals, my rules).

You need to have your location/hometown and work sections of your Facebook profile made public !  These are the vital components any self-respecting Facebook group admin will “check out” when deciding whether to approve you or not.

I have ignored (denied) many people due to not being able to see this information at minimum.

BONUS TIP #2:  The 5 Words Every Admin Loathes !

“Please delete if not allowed”

If you feel yourself typing these five words at the start of your post within a group – please DO NOT POST !   Every Facebook Group Administrator loathes these five words because it shows a total utter lack of respect to the administrator/s.  You’re basically saying to them:  “I’m too lazy and selfish to be bothered to see if this post is allowed in your group. I don’t have any respect for the time and dedication it takes to be a Facebook Group administrator. Fuck you.”

Pretty much.

There is a simple way to ensure that your post will both be allowed AND you’ll gain the respect of the administrators:   ASK FIRST.

Send them a message (you can find who is listed as administrators under the members section of the Facebook Group) or post in the group asking for one of the administrators to get in touch with you.

Bring your stories, knowledge and experiences (good and bad) and share them.  Start conversations, respond when people talk back and keep the dialogue going, just like you’d do in a real-life discussion.

The extra bonus tip I’d add to this is that you need to prepared for something you write to be taken the wrong way.   Due to the fact text based communication, like Facebook, is missing 2 vital components of human communication (tone of voice and non verbal body language) this will mean the person reading it will colour it with their own judgements and perceptions.

Even WITH the use of emojis (emoticons – smiley faces and so forth) there is still huge potential for something you’re written (“said”) to be misunderstood.

Mix in there the fact that no one really likes to be ‘hated’ or ‘attacked’ (heated emotions) and you have the reason why I personally have left Facebook groups or been asked to leave.

At the end of the day, with Facebook Groups, there are so many that if you are “not feeling it” or have been asked to leave (or even been banned or kicked out without warning as some administrators are quite harsh whereas others are more easy going) …  take some time out… take many deep breaths… and find another !

Or even create your own 😉


The longer you leave it, the longer it takes… ( @jamesklobasa )

I find it very interesting that the following status update from one of my Facebook friends – James Klobasa – popped up in my newsfeed at the same time I had published my previous post (What is Periscope’s purpose and who is the typical user?) …

AND  I’m about to start my first 7 Day Quick Start Periscope Challenge this Thursday…

AND I’m using Periscope every day…

AND I’m blogging more often …

Ultimately, this summed up the reason why I’m on Periscope. The reason why I created my 7 Day Quick Start Challenge.


James Klobasa Facebook Status

Tell me in the comments below what will you be starting NOW ?

5 Tips For Helping You Win As A Periscope Broadcaster (Once You Have CLICKED Start Broadcast)


1. Pick Your Passion

Not sure what to talk about? Pick the topic that you can talk about underwater.

Choose something you are passionate about. You will feel less like you are presenting and more like you are chatting with a friend. Turn on the camera and go for it.

2. Be Consistent

The Broadcasters that are doing well have something special that is shining through – they are starting their broadcasts in a consistent way, at a consistent time or giving tips about a consistent topic, wearing the same hat or glasses, or using similar welcome phrases and questions each time.

As you find your feet you will find your “thing”. Try to have something that is “you”.

From what you wear to the phrasing you use (that should come naturally), to where you scope from… try to be consistent in some way.

Consistency breeds familiarity and we crave a sense of belonging. People will tune in like they tune into their favourite TV show… because they are comfortable watching your broadcasts.

3. Yet… Be Human !

Just because you are consistent doesn’t mean you can’t mix it up. Whether it is to go outside vs inside your office, or show your “casual” after hours self… or perhaps to change the topic for a day (if you usually talk about cupcakes and baking, give a business tip instead). It might be that you take us on a tour. There are many ways to surprise and delight your viewers.

4. Involve Your Viewers

Periscope is interactive. Ask People to Share the Scope with Their Followers, Take Time to Welcome People (but don’t take too long) and Ask For Hearts (don’t beg!)


5. Engage With Other Peri-People !

Engage in the Periscope community as a viewer and watch several scopes to pick up tips from your comrades! Here’s a list of some of my favorite entrepreneurial Peri-People. You can use the search function on Periscope to hunt them down and follow them back:

PeriGirls:  @ThePeriGirls
Kim Garst: @KimGarst
Alex Pettitt:  @Alexpettitt


What are some your top tips to win as a Periscope broadcaster ?   Who do you follow for the best tips ?

Mark Bowness Six Figure FB group (self study)

Pet Lovin’ Entrepreneurs (Business Networking, Strategy, Collaboration) – THE facebook group for passionate pet people in business !

Previous blog posts: Page 1 | Page 2 | Page 3 | Page 4 |

Update:   Have I made any money from my Facebook group ?  No.  There is good reason too – I have not asked for the sale (as such).  My aim at the moment is to still grow the group to over 300 members using some of the techniques and strategies that Mark has given.

When I do use the strategies. It does grow.  It might be a little bit slow to grow however it is growing.  It’s currently at 177 members.  Nearly at 200.

The biggest benefit I have received from this group is the impact and connections that have happened with thanks to the group !!

I’ve also been slightly distracted learning Periscope and Blab (recently) so as I can incorporate both into the group.  I’m using BLAB for online networking events whereas I use Periscope for giving value.

Up until ‘now’, I also didn’t have a specific FREE GIFT to give away. Now I do:  10 Genius Hacks For Pet Lovin’ Entrepreneurs That Will Help YOU To Grow YOUR Business

Module 3

Catalyst One: The Ultimate Introduction

Whilst I have not done an introduction video… I am instead leveraging Periscope so as people can get to know me 😉   See my face, hear me speak, etc.   My plan is to do the introduction video (and have it properly made) when the group is a lot more active (and starting to receive some traction as far as new members being added is concerned).

I am doing the welcome new members message:

#MeetNGreet Welcome today’s amazing new members !

As a welcome gift go ahead and gain instant access to our 10 Genius Hacks For Pet Lovin’ Entrepreneurs That Will Help YOU To Grow YOUR Business .. Register your details right here »» https://goo.gl/sGvYU7 «« to receive this FREE GIFT instantly in your email INBOX !

This group exists to empower YOU as an entrepreneur and pet lover, so please use this group to your full advantage.

So… why not start by introducing yourself (what do you do, where are you from, your Facebook page and the best bit WHO are your pets !):

Please feel free to add me on Facebook and let me know how I can further support you <3

xox Vanessa

PS Please read our Pinned Post ( https://www.facebook.com/groups/summerlands.biz/permalink/875016349250246/ )


Catalyst Two: Who’s in and who is out?

This one is about how to “vet” (verify) people.  This one I already pretty much knew as I also do the same for my Facebook profile.

Catalyst Three: Establishing The Rules

Done and doing.  My most recent one was about the rules in regards to any posts that start with:  Please delete if not allowed.   Those posts do my head in as an admin.     The guidelines for posting are readily available.  If you’re still unsure, I also make it easy for people to get in touch with me. . . to me there is no excuse.

Catalyst Four: Lead Legend And Value Add


Screen Shot 2015-08-25 at 9.56.19 pm

I need to stick to it.  I am going to leverage some of my Periscope videos to assist with this 😉

PostCron Review

As some are aware, I’m starting to invest more in my Facebook groups than my pages for marketing purposes.

There are a million and one ways for people to automate their posts to their profiles and pages however I have only found one way to do so for groups – effectively:  PostCron.

As I operate on the old belief that Facebook prefers you to use what they provide than what other people provide: I will still use the in-built pre-scheduling tool in all Facebook pages.

Yet this doesn’t apply when you want to pre-schedule posts to a Facebook group.

There isn’t a way to do so in groups that I have found to be easy and effective.

If you operate your group similar to the way taught in Mark B’s Six Figure Facebook Groups (where you have theme days) as well as if you’re running some sort of challenge or mastermind where your posts can be scheduled … PostCron is your answer.

It’s very simple to use & has a free option if you’re on a “shoe-string” budget (or want to give a try before you buy option).


Mark Bowness Six Figure FB group (self study)

Pet Lovin’ Entrepreneurs (Business Networking, Strategy, Collaboration) – THE facebook group for passionate pet people in business !

Previous blog posts: Page 1 | Page 2 | Page 3 |


In my previous blog post I discussed more my experiences.  This one I’m returning back to my journey with each Catalyst.

Module 2.

Catalyst One: Your Foundational Launch Members


I didn’t need to really do this as I already had “foundational members” hence the reason I had my graphic done.

I did it anyway.  Unfortunately, I didn’t really get much of a result from my Facebook profile post.   I also posted this on all my Facebook pages (Gold Coast Lost and Found Pets, Gold Coast Pets,  Network of Professional Pet Carers*).  I actually had a much better result boosting the post I made based upon what Mark taught on my Gold Coast Lost and Found Pets page.

My aim is to have 300 members so as people start contributing more by their own volition as well as encouraging the community (the members of the group) to help each other as right now my co-admin and/or myself are the main contributors (with me of course being the main one).

Catalyst Two: Reaching 7,300 Members

To do this I need my laptop as this cannot be done via my phone or iPad unfortunately.

I firstly had to change from ENGLISH UK to ENGLISH US as unfortunately the GRAPH SEARCH feature is only available to US (still!!!).

I put “people who love pets who are not my friends” into graph search.  I then sent the message I crafted to all the people who had self-employed (usually or similar) on their profile AND that had mutual friends (at least 1! that’s all you need… hahahaha).

I also avoided people from certain countries as unfortunately people with ESL (english as a second language) are not my target market.  My target market is mostly Australia however I do know that I will need the support from people in the UK and USA.   Other countries can always join in, I won’t say no!  Yet they must be able to understand and comprehend what is going on and happening in the group.

Now, I have NOT done this everyday.  Mark says to do this everyday.  I personally did it once a week or at least 5 days apart …. and honestly…  doing that has helped me.  Due to how Graph Search puts up the same people however not in the exact same order as last time I used it…. a few people received the exact same message I sent them 5 days ago.  Thankfully I only had 2 people complain.  That’s actually quite good considering how many messages I had sent out !   I also had two other people reply back to say thank you for the reminder hahahaha and they subsequently joined the group.  So whilst some may be annoyed at the exact same second message… others saw it as a friendly reminder… and joined !

I’ve now “done the dash” on that Graph Search term (IOW, no more people to message).  Next time I do it I will have to think of another one.

I also didn’t use the text that Mark used or advocates.  Why ?  I did a quick survey and most people prefer short messages.   Mark’s message was LONG!  I know I’ve received a version of it from other people here and there …. and it’s annoyed me because it is so damn long.  We have to be VERY aware a lot of people access Facebook Messages via their phone and thus LONG messages are tedious and annoying when reading them on your phone.

So I came up with mine which has had a good response rate (as in people who join versus people who get pissed at my message).

For the curious here is the message I use for this Catalyst:


I promise I will keep this short.

I’m messaging you as we seem to have mutual friends & you’re a business person who loves pets !

I would love to invite you to join me (and many other pet lovin’ business people) to be part of a powerful facebook group which provides free resources, shares wisdom and gives you all the insight we collectively (as a group) have on business and pet care:

Pet Lovin’ Entrepreneurs
THE Facebook Group for Business People Who Love Pets!

Thank you for your time <3 and I hope to talk soon !

xox Vanessa

Catalyst Three: Early Days Engagement

Awesome. Done. Doing. Easy !

I find sometimes tagging people as a separate comment below the original post can assist people to interact too.

I’m currently testing out times of day as well as whether or not to attach an image or not will assist people to interact.

This one is a “work in progress”.