Hello Monday 🌟🔥😃💖 .. what the hell has the rest of the week going to surprise me with ?!
Thanks to my human/victim not being heard, healed and released she was fucking with my abundance.
I am in love and appreciation that I earned enough to “get by” last week (a few debts didn’t get paid due to how I had earned so little that week)… by today all my accounts were starting to look bleak.
MEN. 🚹
Specifically one man in my life … triggered my victim. Interesting how I had been doing the chasing for months … interesting that I felt like I couldn’t get any of my needs met either by myself and or OTHER men.
Interesting I felt afraid to let him go … afraid I wouldn’t attract another or better or whatever relationship …
This is more than about sex. Sex is part of this equation however not the whole picture.
As much as I thought I was enjoying both of these in my life .. I wasn’t … especially how my last orgasm was .. well … on Tuesday. (Personally I love orgasms and having only one per week is a symptom – I prefer to have at minimum 3 per week. Considering all the different types, variety and intensities – it’s actually great for me to keep me connected/grounded/in flow.)
AS SOON AS I let my (inner) victim to be heard & witnessed .. allowed her to speak both words and energetically … she disappeared !
She got what she wanted … and I said to her:
Yes and now it is time for you to go. 👋🏼
(I used my own mix of doing an aspecting process, journalling exercise and turning triggers to treasure process.)
Im Sorry. Please Forgive Me. I Love You. Thank You.
After releasing my victim I let my inner masculine take charge … he sent off two invoices for dog walking that were due … he checked emails to find out there was a tantra client booking request for yesterday I missed 😳 (as I was too busy denying my victim to be released) …
And my inner feminine was busy sending out requests to the universe and listening to the intuitive guidance …
Thanks to her magick …
🚹 MEN !!
She helped me attract a tantra client for today!
I also feel finally ready to do something I had stopped myself from diving into because of fear — TINDER
Yes I am a TINDER virgin.
Also an old playmate has become a possibility 😜💋 as I realise now thanks to Ej Lorna Kristie and a few other women … I *can* attract the men I desire and require.
(and yes I will also be available for the other gender identities as I’ve recently become pansexual due to my Tantra work)
I also realised I am strong enough a woman to have my boundaries respected by myself. 👌🏼💕
( note: this is NOT an invite for you to be sleazy and send me inappropriate messages via FB. )
Thanks to some guidance from Rebecca (yet ultimately myself) … I unlocked yet another full body orgasm ..
This one was different tho to the one on Tuesday.
This one came without resistance as I was in surrender.
It really did feel like it started with my pussy then the energy/orgasm went all thru me.
I also let my pussy have a sunbathe after in thanks 💋💥🙏🏼
Plus I was (and still am at the time of this post) a little blissed out .. when I ate something .. I actually took pleasure in it .. experienced the food I was eating in a totally present mindful (different) way.
What was interesting when I was self pleasuring (more tantric type of masturbation – I used mostly breath, a little movement, touch (not necessarily on/near my pussy) and sound) … I remembered something Eyal said to me at his last workshop … and opened my eyes to “connect” with “universe” as my partner .. and I saw … a bee buzzing around (abundance totem) … a small yellow butterfly (another abundance totem) … my kitty cat who was interestingly drawn to me from wherever she was …
And curiously I felt “held” 🙌🏼 during it 💕
If you got all the way to the end – thank you 🙏🏼💕 I needed to “blog” it ❤️
Now time to “get my priestess on” (tantra client on his way!) 🌟💖
PS If you did read this all the way to the end – type the word GAZ 🐶😂

Your soul is constantly sending you messages

These message help us on our journey through life and to help make life easier for us (as souls ONLY know ease).

The Feather – the first (gentlest) message we get

The Brick – a not so gentle reminder

The Truck – a massive shift to life

The idea of the feather, the brick and the truck is our soul’s way of delivery of the message (depending upon if our human-self is listening or ignoring)…

I got the truck on Thursday and it took me most of Friday to ‘recover’ from that head on collision with it.

“You want to know the ONLY reason you’re exhausted ? You’re living a lie.” — Lorna Johnson

.. and that is the reason why my own personal battery (which is typically usually ‘fully charged’ and why I seem to have such a ‘big personality’ online) … thanks to what I did (all the decisions I had made which resulted in everything that happened) on Thursday … I was so drained … I felt intensely disconnected from myself … I was at such a low ‘ebb’ … and it was interesting what happened to me whilst I was in that space.

I started second guessing …
I started doubting …
I felt numb (I didn’t have ‘the energy’ to ‘feel’ anything!) …
I had lost my connection to “me” …
I had ‘no voice’ …

If you have a look at my posts from yesterday I relied heavily upon other peoples’ voices to be my own voice as I felt so energetically low .. that I had ‘nothing’ … I couldn’t ‘give’ from an empty cup.

When I understood this (which I did even whilst I was ‘experiencing’ what I experienced on Thursday) … I knew I had just had a major shift …

… and here are the steps I did to regain my energy …

I threw a tantrum then I did my tantric/reiki meditation.

I sent myself a lot of love and compassion.

I never made myself wrong – it just was something that happened based upon decisions I had made earlier in the week.

I listened *AND ACTED* upon my intuition.

It told me around midday to go sit out in the sun (this time on a bean bag – no ants biting my ass!!) to just “be” .. and hang out with Marnie and Garry. I have no f-ing clue how long I was out there .. the point is .. I didn’t question it .. I did it.

FUCK DID THAT HELP RE-CHARGE ME A LOT ! It’s was like a power boost .. going from empty to half full ..

How’d I re-charge to 100% ?

I made the commitment to myself to go ahead with the FB Live Lights On And Dance event I created awhile ago whilst also eating a lot of peppermint and staying hydrated.

The dancing was me “speaking” my truth

The dancing was me being myself unapologetically.

I spelled my name with my ass on FB Live and everyone can view it….

I was having fun.

The secret to bewitchful confidence ? Switch from fear to truth.

I want to invite you to get on a call with me to talk more about what it is you want to create or expand into that you feel is the next stage of your relationship with yourself / life … (call it a child’s curiosity and wanting to connect more with the people)

Let’s chat:

I just Goddess-f*$#*’d my husband (Guest Post)

Ever wondered why I started my journey into tantra and sacred sexuality ?  It’s because after I had done a lot of work on healing myself and re-awakening my body (not just my pussy – all of my body) .. I have experienced this cosmically orgasmic experience with the same man three separate times.  (Unfortunately, due to life it isn’t every time – we’re both a work in progress.)

Never in my life previously had I experienced anything close!  Thus the reason I offer tantric massage for men, women and couples so as THEY can start on the journey I started .. and eventually with whomever can experience the same.

Author: Tressa Yonekawa Bundren  { source }

This is important, women. This is here if you want to understand more about your power in sex and sensuality.

I just allowed myself to have the best sex of my life. I am infinitely lucky and grateful to be partnered with a man who is an ever-evolving amazing lover. This is a reciprocal, ever-reflective process, and sometimes it just works out luckily, haphazardly and drunk with lust.

Today was a combination of all of those things.

One reason he’s an amazing lover is that he is invested in my pleasure, and he responds to my desire with receiving and reflecting and offering of his own desire. He wants me to feel good while he’s feeling good.

Men, did you catch that? It’s not really about the size of your penis or how hard and deep you can penetrate me. It’s about how you handle desire.

Feel me on this.

How many times have you had sex with a partner and you were just basically participating so someone didn’t feel bad or because you just needed to orgasm or because it felt like you were expected to, etc.? The list of reasons why we “kind of participate” in sex is pretty long. We all have our own reasons. We’ve all done it.

But what if

What if we could be deeply present? Deeply feeling? Deeply connected? What would sex be like if we regularly engaged ourselves and each other in the kind of sex that’s completely worth getting dirty for, being late for, flinching pleasantly as we sit down when we feel that perfect soreness of being well-nibbled, fucked and/or spanked?

It kind of makes me hot to think about it. You know, those times when everything just clicks?

I know the secret to bringing that to the table (park bench, bed or backseat) every time.

Want to know how to fuck like a Goddess?

Let’s make a deal. I’ll share this with you, and you promise yourself and me that you’ll try it. Just try it. Deal? I trust both of us to want better relationships and better sex for ourselves.

Here it is.

Show up.  Show up. Show up.  

We built a temple: Temple Apalala. From the first discussion about what we wanted, we knew it would be a space to honor intimacy and music. It’s a space where no shoes are allowed. The sign in the entryway on the shoe rack reads:

“Leave your stories, excuses and fears outside. Leave your shoes here. Enter in your wholeness. Welcome in.”  

The same is true in sex, only… you can leave your shoes on if they’re fabulous, of course.

Now, this is just a part of how we show up for each other. We remember to leave our shit outside. We can always pick it up later if we want it. The bonus here is it has always been, and will always be, your personal choice to carry your stories, excuses and fears… or not. You choose a thousand times a day. Keep choosing the highest good.

This is where my request of you to show up really gets juicy and makes us squirm.

Can you show up, just for sex, just this once (you promised that you’d try it… just saying) and make the choice to leave out your anger, frustration, your partner’s bad habits, and that time your mom told you something ego-based and not true about yourself but you believed it?

Because if you can, even for a few minutes, then you are showing up for yourself and your partner. You are opening up to Goddess-intimacy, and believe me, Goddess, you deserve this entirely.

Thank you for practicing being whole, vibrant, powerful, sensual and compassionate.

Welcome in.

Happy Mothers Day ?

Trigger Warning: Abuse, Death, Cancer
I’m torn on my feelings about days like mother’s day every year. I can’t be the only one ?
On the one hand, I love seeing how all the mothers are celebrated by their children.
I always “take my hat off” to all mothers especially since I’ve chosen to not be one. After living with a lady for a short period who had four children (two teens, two young) it really gave me a glimpse into motherhood. The joys and the not-so-joys. In such a fast paced, digital world .. having a day like Mother’s Day can be a good reminder to be grateful for all that your mother has done for you and how much love she loves you.
I also like to take a moment myself to celebrate my own “motherly” love towards my pets and how my own “mother”-energy has shown up in this world.
It also has the dualistic shadow side for me (hence the reason I’m torn every Mother’s Day).
Forever reminding me of my own mother.
My own mother transitioned back in late 1999. She originally was diagnosed with breast cancer then after a double mastectomy managed to go into remission for a period. Then the cancer came back and ultimately ‘beat’ her. For the last 3 months of her life, she was literally skin and bones as I saw her ‘waste’ away. I now know what it looks like when someone is alive however not living.
I do not want your condolences or sympathy. Now, it is just an event. It holds no emotional charge.
(You can possibly see why life has given me the gift to be a Priestess Of The Body and to unlock the divine pleasure (and healing) that comes from releasing shame, self-criticism about our bodies and ourselves. Life is too short and pleasure can be healing.)
That’s not the only shadow side to mother’s day for me.
My mother was abusive.
It’s taken me a lot of inner work to reach this point where I can reveal this and it’s not for ego, sympathy or anything other than to state a fact.
She was the disciplinarian of my family. When I was young it was the wooden spoon .. then when I was a teen it really exploded. I don’t know what was happening for her as her own person (she never told me – we never had that type of relationship) as I only knew what was happening to me as her only daughter.
It was when I was a teen I experienced emotional abuse.
Her love was very conditional.
Even one time she threatened my life with a knife.
“Next time this will be your throat.” then she proceeded to slit the seat of my bicycle which was only steps away from me.
(I am *not* seeking sympathy here – this is purely JUST a statement of what happened. It’s taken me 20+ years to be able to mention that moment without trauma).
Yeh, *that* moment was when my I AM NOT ENOUGH / ABANDONMENT wound really became compounded … and it’s taken me over 20 years to finally release the trauma of that event .. to finally see it as “just something that happened” … and to know I AM ENOUGH .. and that there was obvious some shit my mother was dealing with that I was obviously triggering her.

So yeh.

Happy Mother’s Day.

Maybe ?

What would a priestess do after her gut decided to smack her around ?

Facebook status Saturday 8 April 2017

This one decided to find a beautiful soul to help provide a much needed tantric sensual body and yoni (pussy) massage.

After my gut decided to “chuck a tantrum” at me about trying to re-introduce sugar (in the form of TimTams, jelly beans, etc) into my diet as well as being mindful that I can’t have a lot of creamy goodness anymore (yay I’ve got a minor lactose intolerant now) … I posted all the sweets I had left over within various Facebook groups to find someone to give them away too.

Whilst I may have kicked my little sugar addiction (or more like drastically reduced it), not everyone is the same and I hold no judgement towards them as .. I WAS JUST LIKE THEM.

Now my gut was happier with me .. the next step was to re-connect to myself .. my body .. to give it ALL some love again .. and thanks to a special (male) friend … I got exactly that yesterday. 💕💋🌸

Thanks to the experience I was re-introduced to a lot of different touch sensations in different parts of my body (my whole body by the way) .. so there’s that 😄 … and then when it came to the yoni/pussy massage … whilst I do pretty damn good on my own 😜 there’s just something BETTER when someone else does this for you .. and even better .. when I ALLOW MYSELF TO RECEIVE it. 🙏🏽

It makes me wonder how the world would be if more women were able to experience this bliss ? To be able to really enjoy and love their bodies without guilt or shame ? To allow someone to give them this pleasure and even better to allow themselves to receive it ? How healing would it be ?

WOMEN: When was the last time you allowed yourself to receive pleasure or even had a mind-blowing orgasm (that didn’t involve your clit) ? ( Feel free to PM if you want to continue the conversation privately. Otherwise I’m just asking in a hypothetical sense. )

What have YOU been taught about masturbation ?


(This was originally intended as a Facebook post however for some reason (and it doesn’t surprise me) Facebook didn’t allow me to post it – thus I’ve put it here as a blog post instead.) 
Wow. If there was ever proof of how sexually shamed we all are… watch Truth or Drink Season 1 (on YouTube) …
Before I go any further, I do understand how some people prefer their privacy and not having their sex lives and proclivities on YouTube….
I’m “three couples in” (they’re all hetro/male-female couples) of the five couples .. and it amazes me how much shame there is around sexuality ! (Especially from the women concerning their own sexuality.)
One of the questions that everyone kept avoiding when their partner asked and opt’ed to take a shot:
When was the last time you masterbated and where was I ?
Why is it so shameful to admit you masturbate ? EVEN IN THIS MODERN AGE ?! It’s a perfectly normal activity to do that adds to our health, healing and happiness .. especially once you really (for women especially) awaken all of your genital region and your body.
👦🏽 🚹 For men, in order for them to learn how to separate orgasm from ejaculation they kinda DO need to masturbate .. they need to learn where their “tipping point” is and feel into their body for that moment .. then stop… and save the ejaculating release for maybe once a fortnight or month. Yeh, believe it or not, men don’t need to ejaculate each and every time they orgasm.
(Just a side note in relation to “blue balls” –> whilst it can feel painful for some men, it’s not dangerous and the solution is to just wait it out. The blood will eventually drain, and any discomfort will disappear on its own.)
YOU CAN EVEN HAVE MULTIPLE ORGASMS and “last” longer than the “typical” 10 minutes that’s the average of most hetro-sexual encounters.
As I personally do not have extensive experience in this type of realm (helping men learn how to orgasm without ejaculation) – I happily refer all men to get in touch with Ej Love if they want to have TRUE SEX MASTERY.  (Get in touch with me if you would like a referral !)
If you’re a man wanting to just learn how to last longer, partaking in a tantric revitalising sensual massage will be of immense assistance. Yes, I provide this service (contact me for details) otherwise I can refer you to other practitioners.
👩🏻 🚺 For women, we have something magical called the clitoris. I personally hardly ever interact with it when masturbating these-days as I can ‘get myself off’ through various other touches of my body and pussy both internally and externally thanks to a lof of the work (and healing) I’ve done via Ej Love‘s programs (contact me if you want to know more).
I was just like the majority of other women in this world: I was disconnected from my body, starting to really numb out (seriously, I was a into mild S&M aka “pain as pleasure” because I was so numb!) and ONLY knew how to masturbate using my clit.
Oh boy was I missing out… and now I can happily attest that…

Lastly .. just for the record .. masturbation doesn’t have to be quick (“rub one out quickly”) or even end in an orgasm 😉 sometimes enjoying the pleasure of touch (and not always touching your genitals) is enough (esp. for women!) … do it sometime… it makes your day a hell of a lot better when you’re walking around turned on (not horny – turned on – there *is* a difference).



The trouble comes when you can’t come out from under the blankets…

You’re struggling? Good. That means you’re moving forward. Chasing something. Going after what you want.

Here’s the deal: Trying to change yourself or the world (both are interrelated) will eventually bring on doubt – about everything. What you do. Who you are. Who you want to be. All of it goes under the microscope. That’s normal.

The trouble comes when you can’t come out from under the blankets.

Whilst you’re learning how to switch your thoughts (there are numerous ways to learn to do this from ‘just doing it’, journalling, EFT/Tapping and so forth) .. something that also works great for me is a little tantric – using breath, sound, touch and movement.

Start moving your body especially focusing on moving your hips (however you want to move your hips there is no right or wrong here), caressing your body with your hands, feeling into your body whilst breathing.

Breathe in and do a full breath thru your diaphragm not the usual adult way thru your chest.. and on the out breath let whatever noise comes out.. come out. (If you don’t feel called to make a noise or cannot for whatever reason – that’s okay – just know you can let a groan, moan or whatever noise out on the out breath.)

Concentrate on the breath, hear the sound, feel your touch on your body and the movement of your body.

Do this for 5 mins and tell me how you feel … ?

If you start judging yourself, make a mental note when you did in this ritual and just keep going .. GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD and INTO YOUR BODY.

As soon as you’re in your body and out of your head you will FEEL .. and then you can uncover what’s under those low thoughts .. you’ll get more clarity. (They may not even be YOUR thoughts as sometimes we can take on other peoples’ beLIEfs about ourselves.)

All I know is the above works for me.

( Also KEEP YOURSELF HYDRATED as dehydration is also linked to depression. Have a drink of something WITHOUT sugar or caffeine in it. )

If you find anger is under this feeling low, take it out on a pillow: screaming into it is an oldie but a goodie that works for me to release anger. (There are other ways – PM me if you want to know more.)

Then breath again. Never underestimate the power of breathing.