There Is A New Star Shining In The Sky Tonight

THERE IS A NEW STAR SHINING IN THE SKY TONIGHT …
Author unknown

There is an old belief that the stars shining in the night sky are the spirits of those who have died. They have shed their earthly bodies and exchanged them for bodies made of light; thousands upon thousands of our dear departed friends all promoted to glory in the night sky. There is another saying that the brightest flame burns the shortest.

My friend, you were the brightest star in my own universe. While I burn on, my flame dimmed by grief and despair at your passing, the stars are watching me. They are too far away for me to touch, just as you have gone somewhere I cannot follow until my own star-time comes. They cannot be held close for comfort, just as I can no longer hold you close, though I held you close to comfort you in your final hours. We were together for such a short time, but the stars will burn forever.

One day I will grow tired of this earthbound body, my own star-time will come and my spirit will soar into the sky to burn with all those friends who have gone before me. On the inky cloth of space we will be reunited in constellations of joy. Until then, my flame burns low and dim and cold without you. Through my tears I look upwards to see if you are watching me and what do I see?

There is a new star shining in the sky tonight.Author unknown

There is an old belief that the stars shining in the night sky are the spirits of those who have died. They have shed their earthly bodies and exchanged them for bodies made of light; thousands upon thousands of our dear departed friends all promoted to glory in the night sky. There is another saying that the brightest flame burns the shortest.

My friend, you were the brightest star in my own universe. While I burn on, my flame dimmed by grief and despair at your passing, the stars are watching me. They are too far away for me to touch, just as you have gone somewhere I cannot follow until my own star-time comes. They cannot be held close for comfort, just as I can no longer hold you close, though I held you close to comfort you in your final hours. We were together for such a short time, but the stars will burn forever.

One day I will grow tired of this earthbound body, my own star-time will come and my spirit will soar into the sky to burn with all those friends who have gone before me. On the inky cloth of space we will be reunited in constellations of joy. Until then, my flame burns low and dim and cold without you. Through my tears I look upwards to see if you are watching me and what do I see?

There is a new star shining in the sky tonight.

An elderly Chinese man had two large pots [story]

12592295_10154255692687841_2300343960075055222_nAn elderly Chinese man had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which he carried across his neck.

One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the man bringing home only one and a half pots of water.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do. After 2 years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the man one day by the stream. “I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.”

The old man smiled, “Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot’s side?” “That’s because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them.” “For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.”

Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it’s the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You’ve just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.

So, to all of my crackpot friends, have a great day and remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path!

How To Say What You Do In One Compelling Sentence #SOC

Last night I attended a Speed Networking event (click here for the ‘Scope

English: icon for smartphone (smart phone) rel...
English: icon for smartphone (smart phone) related content (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

).  Wow, so what ?  The point is that due to the sheer number of people who showed up we all received 3 minutes in total to talk to each other.

Not 3 minutes each. 3 minutes total.  The second round went faster. Only 2 minutes each.

Thus it is times like these you need to really be specific and simple with your pitch.

Personally, that night I had decided to do a quick survey because I am considering doing a Periscope and/or BLAB.IM implementation workshop locally.

It worked.  I have a follow up to do with someone to do a “duel-scope” where we both go on Periscope and ‘scope each other 🙂   Periscope’s version of BLAB.IM

I want to also share something someone from SendOutCards mentioned:

So the Golden Question is “If I could show you a way to make money with your smartphone, sharing an app that people love to use, would you want to see it?”.

So before going to the networking event last night I thought, “Hmmm, I’ll turn the Golden Question into an answer”, so when someone inevitably asks: “So Tony, what do you do?

I show people how to share an app on their smartphone that people love to use, and how to get paid when others use it. What kind of phone do you have?

Said that to 4 people and each one reached in and pulled out their phone.
3 iPhones, 1 Samsung.

I said “great, that phone is perfect, when can we get together and I’l show you how it works,”

3 appointments set with 1 to follow-up on next week. YAY!!!

PS: I have been going to networking events and answering the “what do you do” question for my other business for years and until last night not one person, that I can remember, was ever that eager to know more about it.
Happy days.

 

It’s easier than you think. Stop overcomplicating things.

What is your 30 second elevator pitch to pique someone’s curiosity about your business ?

Bio Outline by Emily Gower

To assist you in composing your personal biography – consider the following five paragraph format used by Australian author Emily Gower.
Introduction:  who you are, titles, company name, what you do for people (summary)

Background:  qualifications, experience, how you got to do what you do

Service: how you work (consults, speaking gigs, workshops, etc), the value you offer, unique point of difference

Personal:  ‘why’ (in form of quote),  “I believe everyone has a voice and a message and it is my dedication to bring it out”

Conclusion: anything additional  e.g publications in magazines, additional speaking gigs, value you offer people

Misogyny, Consent, Violence against women… Jim C. Hines “speak it brutha!” #YesAllWomen

BEFORE YOU SAY “Not all men…”

Read this status update:

Not All Men

Re-read it before you make a comment……

Then click here to read all the comments from women in support of this man’s status update (as well as from the man himself who (if you read the comments) worked doing outreach and education TO men about violence against women so he does know what he is speaking about)…

I’m so happy a man “gets it” 🙂 and thus because he is a man (and this is an unfortunate side effect and further displays the fact that misogyny is something women deal with since birth)… all the other might actually listen instead of pretending the women who say the same thing are just angry feminists or whatever negative language you want to use against all the women who are sharing their stories… who are allowing themselves to be heard…

Teach your sons this… teach your sons to listen.  Teach your sons to pay attention.  Teach your sons that misogyny is real and they need to speak up against it too.  To support other women who have experienced misogyny and put their ego to the side when they do because the best thing they can do is allow the women to be heard. To give them that safe space. To understand consent. To respect consent.

 

(edit-ed to add the following)

This comment is the reason for my comment above about how it is unfortunate that it takes a man to speak out for us – this (read the comment below) happens to a lot of women.  As you can see, I personally am not afraid.   I’m happy that I will speak out and am happy to take any backlash as I’m not going to let fear rule me.  One of my values is courage. I will speak out because it is courageous and this me being authentic … and because a lot (not all women – a lot) of us do deal with misogyny in some guise every. single. day. of our lives.

#YesAllWomen

 

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Friends. Getting balanced. Giving/Taking.

Technically this post is a couple of days old as I had not published it until ‘today’. 

FriendshipFriendsGivingAbundance is the one word I chose to be my theme this year. Then how is vulnerably and “stripping” away the layers a reflection of this theme ? How can we expect the Universe to give us this abundance if we cannot be happy with our lives ?

Right now. Today. I’m not abundant. Both literally as far as my bank account balance will go by the end of today because I have bills I have to pay and not enough money to pay them (even using my savings which has now dwindled to almost nothing).

I’m also not abundant in connection.

There is a saying that I keep going back to because I’m such an online/social media freak: we are all connected however we are all not connecting.

Facebook is shallow. Social media is shallow. It is a great force for good in the world and can unite people … and bring abundance in many forms to people and this world however … I’m also very aware of it’s shadow side. Why ? Because I experience that shadow (shallow) side everyday.

Their was a question posed to me not too long ago. It asked me along the lines of “The people who know you best, what would they say you’re best at..?” I couldn’t answer. I refused to answer. I became very angry about it too.

Why ? The answer I gave then and the answer I will give now:

No one knows me well enough.

As soon as the person turned that question around to say that it didn’t have to be a human – I chose Marnie. The answer was easy.

Today. Right now. I couldn’t feel more disconnected. I am lonely. I’ve been denying my feelings of loneliness for awhile now I admit. I will do as I have always have done which is feel this shite for a period then .. “busy” myself so that I don’t have to feel these feelings.. until it pops up again.

Today didn’t happen overnight. Yes I have chosen to feel disconnected and scarcity right now instead of feeling abundant with connections/friends. Yet I feel I have to go here (the shadow side) in order to re-connect to the Universe… to stop feeling so separated.

I know ultimately deep down I’m not disconnected. I know these feelings are a little false. That due to how we’re all atoms, molecules and ‘stuff’ .. we are all connected ultimately. Thus we are never really alone.

Yet the human part of me. The sensual (5 senses) part of me. Right now, is sick of being alone. Is sick of everyday being so lonely and having those shallow connections.

You could say it started with the fact that I spent $400 on a male sex workers. Why ? For the same reason people spend money on any sex worker or strippers in a strip club. We all crave that intimate connection with someone.

Also, for once, I wanted to be able to have that intimate connection.. that intimate touch.. that intimate experience in a purely selfish “it IS all about me” manner.

Do you know how often I get to do that ?

I’m single. I work by myself. I mostly hang out by myself except if it is a business networking function or a business training. I have plenty of acquaintances and a few friends (people who know me a little better than the acquaintances) how ever the number of hugs I have received that have been really good hugs. The kind that have a lot of love behind them not just a passing “thank you” hug.. or a “hi!” hug.. not the shallow fleeting kind… including 2013 as well as this year in 2014… none.

Plus if you notice – I don’t know if anyone has – I don’t have many friends. Why ? I do take responsibility of the fact that part of it is my own fault. That I’ve used my ‘I’m broke’ status to avoid having to go out (“I have to conserve my fuel so cannot catch up.”) and my abandonment issues..

Yet. Recently, like last night, I chose to spend time with someone else to just hang out instead of go to a business networking event which was in the same suburb as where I was ‘hanging out’. It was also on at the same time. My brain had forgotten about the event until later when it was too late !

At the same time, it made me realise. That event could have really assisted my new business ( Lady Vee: Sensuality / Confidence Coach ) due to the connections I’d make there however I chose (subconsciously) to hang out with this other person.

Guess what I value the most ?

And that realisation has lead to this feeling of loneliness and disconnection with the world.

What’s even more interesting is that I felt connected and totally in love with the world for the remainder of the day after my session with the male sex worker. I had not felt that feeling for a long time.

Which has one again lead to where I am today, right now.

I would love to have a friend. I don’t need a lover. I don’t need a partner (tho’ that would be okay I guess). I realise what I am really missing in my life is a REAL friend.

This real friend (whomever you are) is a giver naturally. I need someone who is a giver naturally not so much because I’m a user and taker however because I give of myself so much in a lot of other areas of my life: I need someone to give to me.

That is once again why I hired the male sex worker. Yes for that $400 I had the guarantee that someone would be the giver. I paid money I could’ve spent elsewhere in my life this week on something that is (IMO) lacking in my life in this respect.

This real friend (once again whomever you are as I don’t think you exist right at this moment in my life) will call me up every so often. They will pursue me and not think the friendship is one sided because I may not pursue them as often. They understand their role in my life and are happy to fulfil that role. To give me that balance. They understand that I’m a very giving and generous (abundant!) person in my other areas of my life that they’re more than happy to give to me – to give me that balance.

This real friend (whomever you are) will be able to have the patience (seriously, I can very stubborn!) to be able to let me reveal whatever I want to reveal in my own way at my own time. This real friend also has the tenacity/preservence (plus some empathic qualities most likely thrown into the mix) to follow up with me when they know something is up. They won’t put up with my excuses. This real friend is also generally positive with me (infectious positivity) as they have other people in their lives that they can gain support from thus don’t require it from me too much.

Once again, this real friend understands their role in my life. They understand that this is going to appear to be a one-sided friendship however it ultimately isn’t.. they’re helping me balance myself out so I can continue to be service to the world.

This real friend is experienced in business too thus I can gain support from when I want to have someone BE THERE WITH ME to help me overcome obstacles.

For instance, right now, I’m having issues “getting on the phone” to make both ‘catch up’ phone calls with a few people to see if they’re interested in another strategy session or coaching … as well as “who do you know” calls. It’s linked to my fear of abandonment and every human’s fear of “not being good enough” or “I’m not enough” or “what will other people think of me” etc. Yes, it’s all bullshite. I know this – believe me. Yet my fear is there. I also know to overcome it: support.

MORE than someone sending me a Facebook message to say “You’ve got this – just do it!”

I want someone with me for 30 minutes at least who will just “be there”. This person will celebrate every time I make a call. They will have the patience and understanding to enable me to deal with my fears and issues … and work through them… to make those calls. They will be able to read me well enough (or people in general) to know when they’ve pushed me far enough for today.

Oh yes.. this real friend.. either lives on the Gold Coast or at least can visit the Gold Coast often enough. I’m sick of having friends at a distance. I want to be able to ‘catch up’ with this person at least once a week ! I’m happy to travel to them if they’re on the GC or where-ever we meet up. Yet at the same time, they understand, due to my financial issues, that sometimes they will have to pick me up (and that’s okay).

On the flip-side, this real friend also understands that I still do value my alone-time. That I do enjoy being myself and won’t begrudge me choosing to have that alone time instead of spending it with them. Yet also know when I’m reverting to old habits and wanting to be alone because it’s easier than allowing someone “in”. I’m so used to have to deal with EVERYTHING in my life alone due to not having had a real friend like them for a long time. They once again have the patience and perseverance to make sure I know that they are their for me if I want this real friend to be .. and understands when to give me my space and not push it too much.

We share similar interests however ultimately have also different interests so as to keep the friendship interesting ! 🙂

That they are a home body – don’t mind doing “at home” stuff. They’re happy for me to just hang out sometimes. We may not talk, and they may busy themselves with whatever they are doing however we’re happy to be in each other’s company. We don’t need to always talk talk talk. Just sometimes to “hang out” is good enough.

This person loves to cook 🙂 so that’s how they bride me to visit them at their home (which is located on the Gold Coast) or if they’re not local however visit often enough thus have a place of some variety with a kitchen etc: they will still use their culinary skills to bride me to visit them. It’s a point of humour between us.

Does this real friend I’m imagining have kids ? Is it a she or a he ? I’m more inclined to go with a female in this imagination of this real friend just so I don’t have to deal with any possible drama that comes up with feeling desire for me sexually.

Ultimately, I don’t trust any man can truly be friends with a female. They will always want to date us and want to fuck us. I don’t believe men and women can be friends.

I don’t want to loose my femme self. Whilst I have tomboy sort of traits – I also have femme traits. Thus the reason I’m inclined to go with a female.

Oh.. and this real friends knows how to give a great massage. She gets some sort of thrill or kick out of giving them more than receiving them. Her sensuality for a massage is more in the feeling the person’s skin, their knots dissipating and just how each person is unique in how they receive a massage. She loves it. Definitely rather doing it than receiving one or only likes to receive one from lovers or something specific.

Her sexual attitudes are sex positive (one of our similar traits) as well as believing in body autonomy and the end of slut shaming. She does this in her own way however not as a business. She has had her own journey to reach this point of confidence in her sensuality and sexuality.

Does this real friend I’m imagining have pets ? Is she a pet parent ? Hell yes. It’s also another point of humour between us is that she also bribes me to visit her (or will bribe me to spend time hanging out at her place) because I adore her pets.

This imaginary real friend is also a hug-er. She loves to give hugs whenever needed and understands that as I’m not used to receiving too many of them I can sometimes feel weird-ed out by them. Thus knows when to hug me and when to have to control that urge in herself (once again, she has other people in her life for support so she doesn’t feel like I’m deny-ing a valuable part of her being).

As I mentioned elsewhere all I want is for someone to love me and to never allow me to feel abandoned. This real friend understands my on-going life-long (most likely) theme of having to deal with fear of abandonment thus is aware enough to see when they might be playing into that fear – and is also confident in themselves enough to ask for forgiveness. As this real friend is human, they will make mistakes and is aware enough of themselves, confident enough in themselves and aware enough of our friendship to know when to say “please forgive me”. They understand their are lessons in all of this for them not just me.

Did I mention anywhere that this real friend I’m imagine-ing is a natural listener ? She finds comfort in “the gap” .. in the silence .. naturally.

Universe. Hear me. Hear me now. This real friend I am seeking. I want all of this in one person not a few people.

This is why I personally feel like I’m always going to struggle with abundance in my life because in this one area – it isn’t abundant. It’s lop-sided. I’m giving to the world (and want to continue to do so – GIFT OF SERVICE) yet their is no one giving to me in a friendship capacity.
I don’t want a lover. I want a friend.

Real friend – if you are out there – please make yourself known to me. Remember: patience and perseverance.
PLUS CREATE. For the good of all, so it shall be !

 
RELEASE MY FEAR OF ABANDONMENT

RELEASE MY FEAR OF LONELINESS

RELEASE MY FEAR OF NOT BEING GOOD ENOUGH

RELEASE !

 

( I am fully spirit and flesh at the same time ! )

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Bad Lady Vee …

Woha… it’s been.. a bit of a while since I last posted huh ?  Please forgive me 🙂

So.. as is possibly obvious… SensualFit is on hold.  That’s totally okay with me…  unfortunately life showed me I had to re-focus on my existing “bread and butter” (still a passion however it IS how I earn an income right now)…  due to concentrating on Lady Vee / SensualFit for so long… yup… my lack of focus and attention on Gold Coast Pets other than the minimum has unfortunately had repercussions.

( Just as a side note, I am still working on Lady Vee just not as full on as I was in the previous months.. )

None the less, this blog isn’t so much about the above… it is more that I finally had a revelation recently.

I hold the belief that EVERYONE has three fears … and usually in order of most to least:

Abandonment

Worthlessness

Powerlessness

 

For quite some time I wasn’t quite sure whether Abandonment or Worthlessness was my primary fear.

Found out Abandonment is my primary fear.  Followed by Worthlessness then Powerlessness.

Then BAM… the Universe made damn sure I was to confront this fear as I experienced one cancellation after another after another for my “bread and butter” business !!   To say that it sent me in a bit of a panic or anxiety is an under-statement.

It’s because up until that point of self-discovery that I was feeling like I was being hit and hit and hit and hit and hit again … and every time I felt like I was getting back on my feet… BAM.. SMACK… I would get another hit…  I wasn’t feeling awfully confident.

Yes, the sensual confidence coach IS HUMAN !  I will have my down times. I will my low points.  I will have times when all I want to do is cry.

The difference is that I have a lot of skills available to me to dig myself mentally out of the hole.

So what’s happening now ?  I’m able to “wether the storm” because I’m back on track for my 1000 year vision (or my legacy dream as I like to call it).

Looking out to the future so far far into the future way beyond my own lifetime … it gives you perspective.  It allows you to realise… it’s crap now yet … it won’t always be like that… it is just part of the overall journey…

What else am I doing ?

1. I purchased the Gratitude365 app and fill it out every morning (minimum 3 gratitudes) even when I don’t partially feel like it (hahaha)…  I will say such awe-inspiring things that I’m grateful for my health (I am after being sick recently)… Marnie my cat being healthy… being able bodied… being able to breath independently… and so forth.  What I love about the app is that I could set a passcode on it so I can be as personal as I please without feeling like others will see it !

2. I downloaded the “Happy” app and fill it out at the end of the day as it asks the question: What went well today?  I choose ONE thing.  It has been such things as Georgina – working and running no problems (my car is named Georgina).

3. Repeat my Prosperity Prayer (I use God/dess instead of God … and I also use God/dess in a non religious sense – more the archetype/energy) at the start or at least once a day …  I believe that even if I don’t fully believe the prayer… eventually I’ll repeat the words so many times it will sink in.. and the intention is being put out there 🙂

I know… where is the exercise amongst all this ?  Or mediation ?  Whilst I like routine… I really enjoy the unpredictability of each day.  Some days I will get the exercise via pet sits and dog walks… other days… not so much yet that’s okay … IMO.  I feel the “on” days (when I’m quite active) make up for my less active days.

 

The pain is the fuel, the vision is the healing.
Rossco Paddison

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