Happy Mothers Day ?

Trigger Warning: Abuse, Death, Cancer
 
I’m torn on my feelings about days like mother’s day every year. I can’t be the only one ?
 
On the one hand, I love seeing how all the mothers are celebrated by their children.
 
I always “take my hat off” to all mothers especially since I’ve chosen to not be one. After living with a lady for a short period who had four children (two teens, two young) it really gave me a glimpse into motherhood. The joys and the not-so-joys. In such a fast paced, digital world .. having a day like Mother’s Day can be a good reminder to be grateful for all that your mother has done for you and how much love she loves you.
 
I also like to take a moment myself to celebrate my own “motherly” love towards my pets and how my own “mother”-energy has shown up in this world.
 
… ON THE OTHER HAND …
 
It also has the dualistic shadow side for me (hence the reason I’m torn every Mother’s Day).
 
Forever reminding me of my own mother.
 
My own mother transitioned back in late 1999. She originally was diagnosed with breast cancer then after a double mastectomy managed to go into remission for a period. Then the cancer came back and ultimately ‘beat’ her. For the last 3 months of her life, she was literally skin and bones as I saw her ‘waste’ away. I now know what it looks like when someone is alive however not living.
 
I do not want your condolences or sympathy. Now, it is just an event. It holds no emotional charge.
 
(You can possibly see why life has given me the gift to be a Priestess Of The Body and to unlock the divine pleasure (and healing) that comes from releasing shame, self-criticism about our bodies and ourselves. Life is too short and pleasure can be healing.)
 
That’s not the only shadow side to mother’s day for me.
 
My mother was abusive.
 
It’s taken me a lot of inner work to reach this point where I can reveal this and it’s not for ego, sympathy or anything other than to state a fact.
 
She was the disciplinarian of my family. When I was young it was the wooden spoon .. then when I was a teen it really exploded. I don’t know what was happening for her as her own person (she never told me – we never had that type of relationship) as I only knew what was happening to me as her only daughter.
 
It was when I was a teen I experienced emotional abuse.
 
Her love was very conditional.
 
Even one time she threatened my life with a knife.
 
“Next time this will be your throat.” then she proceeded to slit the seat of my bicycle which was only steps away from me.
 
(I am *not* seeking sympathy here – this is purely JUST a statement of what happened. It’s taken me 20+ years to be able to mention that moment without trauma).
 
Yeh, *that* moment was when my I AM NOT ENOUGH / ABANDONMENT wound really became compounded … and it’s taken me over 20 years to finally release the trauma of that event .. to finally see it as “just something that happened” … and to know I AM ENOUGH .. and that there was obvious some shit my mother was dealing with that I was obviously triggering her.
 

So yeh.

 
Happy Mother’s Day.
 

Maybe ?

Is Little Bear worth $15K ?

Marley’s Mutts Dog Rescue recently posted:

There are many folks out there that don’t understand why we are helping Little Bear. Some in the rescue community in particular have been the harshest critics of this plight. “With the money you’ve spent on Little Bear, you could have saved 100 dogs!” they say. They may be right and I may agree with that premise but they are missing the point. We help dogs Like Little Bear because of the way his eyes ask us to and for the way it makes us feel. We are united in helping him; we pull for him; we pray for him; we focus positive energy on him; we talk to our friends about him; we become better people, more conscious people because of him. Because Little Bear’s battle creates a domino effect of positivity and consciousness that is worth it! Little Bear IS UNEQUIVOCALLY WORTH the 15k that its cost us to care for him and if he doesn’t make it, I’d still say that it was the right thing to do. 
But I do think he’s going to make, in fact, I know so. His blood work looks good, his incision and stitches look good and he’s got the support of a World Wide Mutt Militia behind him that will NEVER SAY DIE! We won’t know how well his body is fighting the infection until Sunday but so far so good. He is on the most powerful antibiotics that are available and his kidneys are holding up to the onslaught. 
The critics would find themselves happier people if they just got on the Little Bear band wagon and started routing. You may disagree with our “exorbitant” treatment of him and his needs, but trust me, its always better on the bright side. Unnecessarily critiquing something like this when there are so many other things to spend our emotional energy on is just ludicrous. Turn on the game, Team Little Bear is about to win the World Series!

 

My reply:

Hmm… as I have initiated a For Purpose (non profit) project that deals with death and senior/special needs pets… there are two sides to this story and they are both valid. They are both right. There is also what we as humans do to animals all the time …. we as humans hold onto the pets so tightly… not allowing them to die… they (the pets) do ‘seek’ our permission… sometimes they will do everything in their own power to stay alive for us… because we have not given them permission to transition… when all they want to do is transition from this existence… and it is a transition… it isn’t a death… they’re not afraid (the humans are)…

Thus the people who say the $15K could’ve saved others are correct. Yes, it could’ve been used for those purposes… however everyone (including this dog Little Bear and all the humans involved) walk their own journeys… we cannot invalidate other peoples’ journeys. Ever.

At the same time, denial is very powerful for us humans when it comes to pets and not wanting them to die..  especially if we have spent so much time, money, energy, resources, etc. There are aspects to the above post that highlight this denial (my opinion only!) of both “the reality” and the fact that they are not giving Little Bear any opportunity to transition (if that is what Little Bear wants to do because he’s holding on only because no one has given him that permission).

It’s written all over the post: you will survive this for us Little Bear. You will. You’re not allowed to transition. You’ve been given everything and we do not want you to die. We want you to survive.

… and there is nothing wrong with it. It is fine. This is their journey just as much as Little Bear’s journey.

This is why I’ve launched The Summerlands Project. I understand more than people realise… and I want to provide the support for rescues, shelters & people in the community in their journeys … the people and the pets !