The trouble comes when you can’t come out from under the blankets…

You’re struggling? Good. That means you’re moving forward. Chasing something. Going after what you want.

Here’s the deal: Trying to change yourself or the world (both are interrelated) will eventually bring on doubt – about everything. What you do. Who you are. Who you want to be. All of it goes under the microscope. That’s normal.

The trouble comes when you can’t come out from under the blankets.

Whilst you’re learning how to switch your thoughts (there are numerous ways to learn to do this from ‘just doing it’, journalling, EFT/Tapping and so forth) .. something that also works great for me is a little tantric – using breath, sound, touch and movement.

Start moving your body especially focusing on moving your hips (however you want to move your hips there is no right or wrong here), caressing your body with your hands, feeling into your body whilst breathing.

Breathe in and do a full breath thru your diaphragm not the usual adult way thru your chest.. and on the out breath let whatever noise comes out.. come out. (If you don’t feel called to make a noise or cannot for whatever reason – that’s okay – just know you can let a groan, moan or whatever noise out on the out breath.)

Concentrate on the breath, hear the sound, feel your touch on your body and the movement of your body.

Do this for 5 mins and tell me how you feel … ?

If you start judging yourself, make a mental note when you did in this ritual and just keep going .. GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD and INTO YOUR BODY.

As soon as you’re in your body and out of your head you will FEEL .. and then you can uncover what’s under those low thoughts .. you’ll get more clarity. (They may not even be YOUR thoughts as sometimes we can take on other peoples’ beLIEfs about ourselves.)

All I know is the above works for me.

( Also KEEP YOURSELF HYDRATED as dehydration is also linked to depression. Have a drink of something WITHOUT sugar or caffeine in it. )

If you find anger is under this feeling low, take it out on a pillow: screaming into it is an oldie but a goodie that works for me to release anger. (There are other ways – PM me if you want to know more.)

Then breath again. Never underestimate the power of breathing.

Enlightened Conversations with Michelle Lightworker & Lady Vee – We’re busting the BI myths!

Enlightened Conversations with Michelle Lightworker & Lady Vee

*FACEBOOK LIVE 30th March 2017

Leading a movement of positive change around the world, Lady Vee (Vanessa) guides introverted women to reclaim their sexiness, reconnect with their bodies, and increase their feminine confidence. She teaches her students how to dissolve self-criticism and improve their romantic relationships — so they get the life they want and deserve.

Some topics that were explored:

– What’s it like to be bi in a heterosexual relationship?
– Do you make out with your friends?
– Are we always on the look out for 3somes?
– Do you always know you’re bi?
– Do bi’s have a ‘type’?
– Do you stop being bi if you are in a hetero-sexual relationship?
– Do bi’s always cheat on their partners?
– How do you navigate relationship ‘rules’ when you’re bi?
– What’s it like being a hetero/gay partner of someone bi?
– How does it feel to be bi in a gay community setting?
– Why bi’s feel invisible.

Day 30 | #100HappyDays

Regnault Socrates Tears Alcibiades from the Em...
Regnault Socrates Tears Alcibiades from the Embrace of Sensual Pleasure (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I volunteered to do a 1 min “elevator pitch” at The Startup Club meeting last night.  During the day, another member (and someone I have known for awhile) Nick, came by to give me some major assistance with it.   Oh boy did I ever need it.

Some of my notes that I took away from my meeting with Nick are pretty standard “sales 101” stuff.  Whilst I personally am okay with sales as I learnt a lot through my “DancerWealth” training … I have always felt that since my sales training was specific to the environment (strip clubs)…  I have always had a generally difficult time translating it to “the civilian world”.

So.. here’s some of my notes (if you do not understand them that’s okay – put whatever meaning you want on them):

  • Asking the right questions = $$$$
  • People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care
  • Selling is not telling: guide people to think .. feel.. act.. in a certain pre determined manner
  • (50) Rapport (Know Like Trust) -> (40)  Desire (Pleasure) / Disturb (Pain) -> (7)  Solution -> (3) Close
  • Ensure you always have rapport before you do anything more !
  • 7% WHAT You Say (Words)
  • 5% HOW You Say (Voice)
  • 58% Body Language / Non Verbals
  • Elevator Pitch – It IS OK to be general and not specific

The first obstacle we overcame… asking me to listen. Not hear – listen.  Use my ears not my mouth.  I’m NOT perfect. I love to talk.

Next obstacle ?  Asking me to define what Lady Vee does in 10 words.  Fuck me !  This has been my biggest difficulty for a long long time.

We did it in 8 words !!!

Lady Vee builds your confidence in your own sensuality.  

Next obstacle ?  Using the Rapport Desire/Disturb, Solution, Close method for my elevator pitch.

Oh… also throw AIDA in for good measure.  (AIDA:  Attention, Interest, Desire, Action.)

Now… here’s the special bit of something that happened during the meeting when we got to this part and started formulating my Elevator Pitch.

I was drawing upon the exact original reason why I started Lady Vee in the first place.

I was also discounting who I was actually needing to speak with to get to the women whom I wanted to work with.

In a nutshell, it was an experience coaching a couple (wife and husband) to teach the wife to lap dance her husband (and I mean REAL lap dancing – she was naked none of this ‘pretending’ stuff)… and following up shortly after with teaching the wife how to glamour model for her husband (who wanted to take some photos)… realising how much fun I had…  how ‘easy’ it was for me to do it…  that if this couple was looking for this… there had to be other couples looking for similar … right ?

That initially I called myself a sensual confidence coach.

That initially I was aiming at couples.

Then… life happens…  and I did a lot of courses… 3 day workshops… masterminds…  asking questions on Facebook…

I slightly deviated from the original path.

Yet I needed to have that deviation because I wouldn’t have come to eventually embrace my brand name of  StripperLike Confidence.

StripperLike Confidence is exactly what I’m about because I want the women in the relationships to be as comfortable with being naked..  being sensual.. moving in a sensual manner for their partners just as much as strippers (just like I am)…   to have that body confidence… to have that confidence in who they are as women.. to have no shame, stigma or guilt in being authentic.. in being themselves..  to re-claim their minds & bodies !

So… *drum roll please*  here is what we came up with….

One in six women in a relationship have not let their partner see them naked in over a year.


Because they’ve lost confidence in their own sensuality.

This is often caused by childbirth, weight gain and negative beliefs that have stemmed from childhood.

I’m sure you all will agree that this unfortunate psychological issue often ends in infidelity and divorce.

Myself, as Lady Vee, am dedicated to helping couples avoid these situations. This is done by working closely with women to build their confidence in their own sensuality.

Contact me for your own personal consultation.

Pretty good huh ?

Now that I have this one minute pitch … and I already have my sales funnel worked out… all I need is to make some slight adjustments… and stick to my original plan dammit !!!


Sometimes it takes a while for the path to be clear.


I’m celebrating Day 30 because clarity is priceless.



Authenticity Courage Justice

It’s amazing.

Just the last few weeks of my life…

And how the movement has resulted in more movement…


It all started many weeks ago…  my X flatmate decided she needed to re-home one of her dogs.  No biggie ? Except it was for me personally.  Out of the two dogs I lived with (past tense) that were hers (at the time) … I only really liked one of them.  She never saw it in him. She never saw how smart he was. How loyal he was. How adorable he was. How sweet..  need I go on ? She would call him ugly, and never really truly believed he was ‘her’ dog IMO.  None-the-less, as I honestly didn’t trust that she would re-home this particular dog in the best way I went into “all hands on deck” mode.  I found a friend who could adopt him asap (even if it meant it might be a temporary pit-stop for him).

Now, I’m familiar with The Feather – Brick – Truck.  (If you’d like to know more about Feather – Brick – Truck click here.)

I received the feather quite soon into the time I started living where I used to live with this X flatmate that I needed to move.  Unfortunately, I ignored it.  I kept living where I used to live and put up with all the nuances including my X flatmate’s nuances as well as the fact that I knew I would never ever be able to fully relax where I lived nor be myself.

The brick came. I nearly moved out then. I came inches from moving out however for whatever reason I didn’t.  I continued to live uncomfortably in my comfort zone.   Thank you Universe it was nearly the push I needed. It was quite the push however I stayed.

This latest incident was the Truck.  I finally broke. I finally had the courage to leave.

I couldn’t live there anymore. It wasn’t congruent to my overall well-being.  I was looking at the 6 closest people in my everyday life – and this X flatmate was one of them. So was the dog she was wanting to re-home.

Thus the journey began.  I started hunting for a new room and place to live (yes I only rent a room – for now).  I actually looked at every situation and place critically (as was possible) as well as with a partial thought for the dog that was re-homed because I wanted to still consider adopting.

Long story.. short.. I moved.  I also approached my friend who had originally adopted the dog if I could adopt him.  After a good discussion, she gave her consent to the adoption.

Now ? What has this got to do with anything ?  Justice.  Justice I have found out recently is one my highest values.  It’s why I felt like I had to step in to be of assistance in rehoming the dog that is now mine.  It is also linked heavily with The Summerlands Project (my legacy project).

Also, it has everything to do with courage.  Courage to finally move.  Courage to trust in the Universe it would give me a more conductive living situation.   Once again, recently, I found out Courage is a high value of mine.

Thanks to the move… thanks to also using the opportunity to “discard” a lot of items that I had been holding onto for reasons I really am not sure anymore…  other things started moving in my life….  I was interviewed for the local newspaper.

Then the interview was published (today – the week after I officially moved)… and a local radio station contacted me to interview me tomorrow morning…

Wow.  If that is NOT movement then I do not know what is ?!?

Oh… and in amongst all this…  yesterday actually…  my highest three values finally ‘clicked’ … authenticity, courage and justice.

For the longest of longest times I had been wondering why money was never a huge motivator for me – even the LACK of money never motivated me …  I was looking at my vision board just not truly understanding….  did DISC personality assessment (I’m an ID)…. did Wealth Dynamics (Star)…. did The Genius Test (Dynamo) …. and whilst they each have given me a greater understanding of myself….  THIS CLICKED !

What is interesting for me personally is that I intuitively knew this… however for whatever reason it wasn’t until I went through a process on a call with Adrian / Wealth Catalyst that it just all clicked… and now EVERYTHING make super clear sense.


Have A Courageous  Authentic Business/Life With No Risk

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